


The universe is such a lonely place (without you)

by anditwasstinky (thewicked)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Pining, Silly Teenage Games, lance is unintentionally a dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-21 23:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7409026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewicked/pseuds/anditwasstinky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Keith comes out, and Lance decides it’s time to step up as a wingman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The universe is such a lonely place (without you)

**Author's Note:**

> Post-season one, but minus what happened in the wormhole at the very end - they're all safe and taking a short break to recharge before taking on Zarkon again, and Nunvil, nectar of the gods makes a reappearance.
> 
> The first little episode is inspired by this post: https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2014-11/19/14/enhanced/webdr06/enhanced-22842-1416425730-1.jpg?no-auto
> 
> This is my first Voltron fic, so I hope you like it!!
> 
> The title comes from 'Home Is Such a Lonely Place' by Blink-182

“Okay, okay, here are the rules.”  Lance is in his element, trying to boss the rest of them around.  He’s standing in the center of a circle the Voltron crew have made in their common area.  “Someone says, ‘Never have I ever,’ and then they complete the sentence with something _they’ve_ never done, but maybe - ” He gives what he probably thinks is a slick glance around the circle.  “Maybe, someone else _has_.”

Keith stares at him.  “That’s idiotic.”

“Okay, Keith!” Lance whirls on him.  “Why don’t you try to think of something for us to do while we drift aimlessly through deep space so Coran and Allura can recharge the ship’s power supply?”  He waits a tick or two as Keith simply frowns at him.  “You can’t, can you?” he jeers.

Keith heaves an irritated sigh before grabbing one of the bottles of Nunvil Lance has purloined from the ship’s kitchen.  “Fine.  Whatever.”

“So…”  Hunk is watching his bottle carefully, as if the awful taste inside might suddenly attack him.  “We know someone’s done whatever the person speaking says they’ve never done because they have to take a drink of this?”

Lance’s smile is sharp.  “Exactly.”

Pidge looks uncertain.  “This is a game people play for fun?”

“What - you’ve never played this?”  When all of them shake their heads, Lance’s jaw drops.  “ _What_?  We always played this where I come from!”

“Let’s give Lance’s game a chance,” Shiro says diplomatically.  Keith glances over at him, and he’s mostly watching him with a knowing smile that makes Keith look away.  “It has the potential to help us get to know each other better.  What else can we do while Allura and Coran work on the ship, anyway?”

“Shouldn’t we be helping them?” Pidge asks.

Shiro shakes his head.  “They asked me to make sure we stay out of their way.  Whatever it is they have to do, I think it’s strictly Altean.”

“ _Anyway_ ,” Lance says, clearly trying to get everyone’s attention back on him.  “I’ll start us off, and then we’ll just go around in a circle.  Everyone clear on the rules?”

“It’s not like they’re that complicated,” Keith mutters.

“Gonna ignore that,” Lance says.  He clears his throat.  “Okay.  Never have I ever… flunked out of flight school.”

Keith glares.  “Are you serious?”

“Lance.”  Shiro’s voice is a warning.  “This is supposed to be fun, not malicious.”

“Ugh, _fine_.”  Lance rolls his eyes.  “Never have I ever… I don’t know.  Had a dog.”

Pidge takes a small sip of her drink, as does Shiro.  Both of them shudder and grimace at the hot dog water taste.  

Then it’s Hunk’s turn.  “Uh, okay, uh… Never have I ever… broken a bone?”

Lance, Shiro, and Keith all take sips.  The Nunvil almost burns as it goes down Keith’s throat, and it’s all he can do not to gag as the taste fills his mouth and nostrils.

They continue going around the circle; Pidge goes, then Keith, then Shiro, then Lance again.  They hit a rhythm, and after Hunk nearly chokes on his Nunvil when Pidge admits to winning a wrestling match, he realizes, as he laughs, that he’s having fun.   _They’re_ having fun.

That is, until Lance gets his turn again.

The spidery eyebrows are tilting with something mischievous as he takes in a breath to speak.  “Never have I ever…”  His eyes roam the circle.  “Had a crush on a friend.”

None of them move, except Keith.  Intent on avoiding looking at Shiro, he gulps down more Nunvil than he’d planned, and it takes every ounce of self-control not to gag or choke; he has to retain whatever dignity he’ll have after this.

Lance hoots.  “Dang, Keith!  I didn’t know you could feel anything besides anger!”

Keith shoots him a withering glare.  “Shut up.”

Hunk quickly begins his turn to brush over the charged air.  Keith keeps glaring at Lance, though, an uneasy feeling brewing in his stomach.  Lance does nothing stupid the next time it’s his turn, though, except get Hunk to admit that he’s accidentally eaten pet food.  That makes everyone laugh, even Keith.  

They’re losing steam by the time it’s Lance’s turn once again, and Keith hopes the game burns out before any other embarrassing information gets pulled out of him.  But Lance is looking thoughtful, and dread collects in the pit of Keith’s gut.

“Never have I ever… thought I might be gay.”

Everyone in the circle goes still.  Keith feels like he’s forgotten to breathe as his friends all look around, to see if anyone will drink.  He catches Shiro’s gaze for a second before looking down in his lap.  Then, with a heavy sigh, he chugs the rest of his Nunvil.

Lance practically screams, Hunk gasps, Pidge snaps at Lance to shut up, and Shiro - Keith doesn’t give himself a chance to see how Shiro reacts.  Instead, he tosses his empty bottle into the circle and stands up, his hands on his hips.  “I’m done,” he says, and he stalks out of the room despite his friends’ pleads for him to stay.

**

Lance catches up with him in the corridor.  He makes Keith wait a few ticks while he catches his breath, hands on his knees as he wheezes.  “You - are fast!” he gasps.

“What, Lance?” Keith asks.  His face is still burning with embarrassment, and, really, all he wants to do is punch Lance’s stupid face.  

“How was I supposed to know you’d drink?” Lance says, like it’s _Keith_ who’s being unfair.  “It was supposed to be funny!”

“Yeah, well, it’s not funny to me,” Keith says, crossing his arms.

Lance straightens up, and his face is suddenly (somewhat) serious, and Keith thinks it looks weird.  “I’m sorry, okay?  I - I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward spot like that.”

Keith only stares at him, refusing to accept the apology.  

“S-so who…”  Lance crosses his arms and tilts a hip, trying to affect nonchalance.  “Who’d you have a crush on?” he asks, because it’s impossible for him to shut up.  “Is it someone we know?  Is it one of _us_?”  

Keith says nothing.

“Is it me?” he asks, smiling now.  “It’s me, isn’t it?  I know, I know, I’m irresistible - ”

Keith reaches out to give his shoulder a shove.  “It’s not _you_ , asshole.”

“But it _is_ one of us, right?” Lance asks, smiling even as he grips his shoulder to massage it.  “So that leaves Hunk and Shiro, and you definitely don’t like Hunk that way - or, I guess, maybe you could, you _are_ really bad at expressing yourself - ”

Keith pushes him again.  

“Ow!  Okay, okay, it’s not Hunk, which means…”  His eyes go wide, and Keith freezes.  “You - _Shiro_?”

Keith grabs him and slaps his hand over his mouth.  “Shut _up_!”

When he lets go a few ticks later, Lance’s eyebrows are nearly at his hairline.  “ _Dude_ ,” is all he says.

Keith breathes in, out.  He needs to be calm.  “First of all,” he says.  “Don’t call me dude ever again.  Second of all - ” He fixes him with the meanest look he can muster.  “ _Don’t_ tell Shiro.”

Lance puts his hands up.  “I wasn’t going to!”

Keith groans.  “Forget it!  I'm leaving.   _Don’t_ follow me,” he says, pointing a threatening finger in Lance’s direction.

**

Later, Shiro finds him in the training arena, fighting the Gladiator with his sword.  He may or may not be pretending that the Gladiator is Lance.

“What level are you on?” Shiro asks when he finishes.  He tosses him a towel to wipe his sweat.  

Keith watches him carefully, warily.  “Five,” he says.  

“You’re improving,” Shiro says, and his smile is a knife to Keith’s gut.

Keith shrugs.  He wants to seem nonchalant.  “Aren’t we all improving?”

Shiro lowers himself to sit down against the wall, and he pats the spot next to him.  “I haven’t seen anyone train as diligently as you.”

“Yeah, well, with one of the worst cadet pilots flying one of our legs, I have to make sure I can compensate for his shitty skills.”  He slides down the wall, careful to leave a few inches of space between their bodies.  

“Give Lance a break,” Shiro laughs, and Keith finds that his heartbeat hasn’t calmed down, even though he’s stopped exercising.  He knows it’s stupid - knows that Shiro sees him like a little brother, just like he did when they were both training at the Garrison, because Shiro is Shiro, kind, patient, brave, and everything Keith wishes he could be.

“It’s just… not how I wanted it to happen,” he says, and it _isn’t_.  He’d imagined it happening a bit more naturally, maybe with Shiro, only with Shiro, alone in one of their rooms, Shiro’s fingers gentle yet firm on his chin, his brown eyes close enough that Keith might finally see how long his eyelashes are -

Shiro nudges him with an elbow.  “Are you okay?”

Keith’s heart squeezes itself when he sees Shiro’s concerned face, so familiar and yet so different from the one he’d known before the botched mission to Kerberos.  He sees the scar slashed across his nose, wonders for what feels like the hundredth time what could have caused it.  He wants to reach up, to trace his finger along the pink skin; he wants to lean his head on Shiro’s shoulder, wants Shiro to wrap an arm around him, pull him close, envelop him in his warmth.

Instead, he simply shrugs.  “I’m fine.  I’m just angry with Lance for being a dick.”  It’s not a lie, technically.

Shiro’s face is serious.  “You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?  Not - not just because I’m the leader, but also because, well…”  His smile returns, like the sun coming out after having hidden behind a cloud.  “Because I’m your friend.”

Keith’s mouth is dry.  “Of - of course.”

His hand grips Keith’s shoulder, squeezes it.  “Promise?”

“I Promise.”

**

The next morning, at breakfast, Lance only makes things worse.

“So,” he says with a wink in Keith’s direction.  “Shiro.  How touched were you when Keith rescued you from those Garrison scientists?  You know, when all of this - ” He makes a circle with his hand, as if to indicate the entire Altean ship surrounding them, “started.”

Shiro pauses mid-chew of his food goo as he actually considers the question.  “You know, I’m not sure I really remember.  I was pretty out of it when you guys busted me out of there.”  He glances at Keith.  “But it was nice to see him again.  And all of you, too,” he adds hastily.  “Even though I didn’t know you yet.”

Lance looks like he’s calculating something. “Did you know that Keith knocked out three guys to get to you?  It took him, like, three seconds to do it, too.”

Shiro’s eyes go wide as he looks at Keith.  “You did?”

“I remember I was kind of scared of Keith then,” Hunk says.  “I mean, I didn’t know if you were gonna knock us out, too, because we were kind of in your way.  But then you didn’t, which is cool.  And now we’re here, and that’s cool, too.”

Lance says, too sincere, “I mean, to do that for a friend, that means a lot, right?”

“We did the same thing for Allura,” Keith snaps.  “And we’d do it again if anyone else were in the same situation.”

“Yeah, but - ”

Keith kicks his leg under the table.  “Ow!”

“When one of our lives is at risk, it’s up to the rest to do everything we can to save them,” Keith says.  “Even if it’s you.”

Lance scowls.  “You cradled me in your arms once.  What happened to that moment we had?”

“You didn’t even remember that!”

“Both of you, shut up!” Pidge yells.  “Stop acting like little kids.  We know you’re upset about what Lance did last night, Keith, but we don’t have the time for you to keep holding it against him for as long as you want.  We’re drifting right now, and Allura and Coran are doing everything they can to help us while we’re stuck here like sitting ducks.  For all we know, Zarkon could show up today, tomorrow, or five minutes from now!”

Keith crosses his arms.  He knows Pidge is right; he’d had the same uneasy feeling as soon as Allura had announced the fact that they had to drift and recharge.  

“You can’t keep fighting each other like this,” Shiro says, and Keith whirls on him, feeling betrayed.  “We’re supposed to form a cohesive unit, and we can’t do that if one of us is mad at someone else.”  His eyes go gentle.  “We all care about you, Keith.  And no one is going to treat you any differently.”

The bland kindness in his voice makes Keith want to scream, to throw his bowl of food goo at something, to punch something, to kick, yell, tear out his hair in frustration.  

“I _know_ ,” he bites out instead.  “So stop coddling me like a baby.”

“I will,” Shiro says.  “When you stop acting like one.”

Keith slams his spoon down on the table and storms out of the room, like he did last night during Lance’s stupid game.  This time, however, no one follows him, and he thanks whatever karmic divinity there might be as he makes his way to the training arena.

He throws himself at the Gladiator, throws all of his rage, fear, and frustration into the thrusts of his sword.  He makes a lot of mistakes, and the robot keeps throwing him onto his ass.  Every time he falls, he grits his teeth and gets up again, and again, and again, hoping the pain and exhaustion will numb him from the way his chest keeps tightening at the way Shiro had looked.

 _I will when you stop acting like one_.

The words stung, and Keith wishes that none of this had happened, that Lance hadn’t asked that stupid question, and that he hadn’t been dumb enough to drink the Nunvil, outing himself to the rest of the crew.

He fights until he can barely lift his sword. His legs are shaky, and his head is clearer than it’s been for a while.  He goes back to his room, where he collapses onto his bed with no plans of getting up again in the foreseeable future.  

**

When he runs into Lance again, he asks, “What the hell was that at breakfast?”

“I was trying to be your wingman!” Lance says.  “I was talking you up to Shiro!”

The answer isn’t what Keith had been expecting.  “You - you _what_?”

Lance shrugs.  “I felt bad about accidentally outing you, you know?  I figured I’d try to make it up by helping out with Shiro.”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” Keith says.  “Just leave it alone, would you? Everything was fine before all this.”

“What, with you pining?” Lance laughs humorlessly.  “That doesn’t sound fine to me.”

“Why are you even meddling in this?” Keith snaps.

“Because Pidge and Shiro are right,” Lance says.  “We don’t know when Zarkon will show his ugly face again, and we can’t have you angry at me, or awkward with Shiro.  We’re a _team_ , and we have to work together.  Otherwise, the universe could be in danger!”

“Just stay out of it, okay?  Let me blow off some steam and eventually we’ll be back to normal.”

Lance shakes his head.  “I can’t let it stay this way, man.  We can’t keep secrets from each other like this.”

Keith groans bodily, and then he’s massaging his temples, trying his level best to keep calm.  “Just.  Stop trying to be my wingman.  It’s stupid and embarrassing.”

“Okay, but I’m serious about what I said!” Lance says, and this time he’s the one to point a threatening finger.

**

Keith knows he’s sulking. He knows he should just let things go back to normal, but the thought of Shiro knowing the truth about him and _still_ treating him like a younger brother is about as appealing as warm Nunvil.  He doesn’t know how much longer he can handle this kind of proximity.  If he were stronger, he might be able to swallow his feelings and pretend this crush never happened - perhaps, if he were more like Shiro.  But he isn’t; he’s Keith, impulsive, temperamental, cagey Keith.  And he doesn’t _want_ to let go of his feelings for Shiro.

His thoughts are interrupted by a soft knock on the door.  Thinking it’s Lance again, he puts on his meanest, most unwelcoming face before answering.  He’s going to kick his ass soon, if he keeps up with this pestering.

Except it isn’t Lance.  It’s Shiro, and Keith’s heart leaps into his throat before the door’s even finished sliding open.  

“Oh,” he says. “It’s you.  Hi.”

“Hi, Keith.”  Shiro’s smile is a precipice, and Keith is only barely hanging on.  “Can we talk?”

Keith quietly ushers him inside his spare bedroom.  He hasn’t had any time to do much with it; he knows Pidge’s is already cluttered with gadgets, and Lance somehow found things to put onto his walls, but the only item demarcating Keith’s ownership of this room is his sheathed knife lying next to his pillow.  He doesn’t know what Shiro’s room looks like.

The door slides closed behind them, and Keith sits down on the edge of his bed, his stomach boiling with nerves.  “What’d you want to talk about?”

Shiro leans against the wall opposite Keith, his arms crossed.  “Lance talked to me,” he says.

Keith deflates.  “He did.”

“I… I didn’t know… that you…”

He waves his hand, waves the words away.  “It’s fine, Shiro.  I understand.”

“Understand what?”  Shiro’s voice sounds weird, and when Keith looks back up at him, his eyebrows are pulled together with confusion.

Keith blinks.  “I thought - Lance told you what I think he told you, right?”

“That you like me.”

The words settle over Keith like a wet blanket; he swallows nervously.  “Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”  Shiro looks - almost hurt, though Keith doesn’t know why.  

“I - I didn’t want to mess anything up.  You were getting ready to leave for Kerberos, and - ”

“You liked me _then_?”

“ - and after I rescued you,” Keith continues, ignoring the weird crumpled feeling he has in his chest, “All of this Voltron stuff started happening, and there wasn’t any time to say anything.  And…”  He looks down.  He notices how his hands have his blanket twisted into twin fists, and doesn’t remember grabbing it at all.  “I - I was so happy to have you back, I didn’t want to fuck it up by telling you.”

“Keith…”  Shiro looks like he’s holding himself back from doing something.  Keith’s heart feels heavy, which isn’t fair.  Shouldn’t confessions make someone feel lighter?

“It’s fine,” Keith insists.  “I’ve been dealing with it long enough, haven’t I?  It only got worse because of Lance’s stupid game.”

“That’s not - ” Shiro passes a hand over his face.  Keith doesn’t understand why he seems so frustrated.  Unexpectedly, he moves to sit down next to Keith.  He doesn’t say anything, just studies Keith’s face as if he sees something worth looking at. Like the way Keith feels when he catches himself staring at Shiro, actually.

Warm fingers take hold of Keith’s chin, keeping his eyes locked on Shiro’s.  They’re soft, and his eyelashes are long, and Keith’s insides feel like they’re being sucked out of the airlock to be flung into the abyss.  “Keith,” he says, and his voice sends an overwhelming shiver through Keith’s body.  The air feels like it’s disappearing, mote by mote.  “I wish you’d told me sooner.”

The kiss is barely a suggestion of itself, a whisper of lips that soon becomes a second kiss, more confident, and Keith kisses him back carefully, dizzy with the thought that this could deepen.  It isn’t what he had expected.  He doesn’t know what to do, even though he’s spent the better part of three years imagining this in the quiet space of his head.  

Shiro draws back, only a little, his hand moving to brush Keith’s cheek, to slide fingers into his hair.  Then he’s pulling Keith closer, and Keith shudders at the way Shiro leans in to accommodate their height difference, the slow pull of his mouth, the flush of heat that spreads through him at the touch of Shiro’s tongue.

They’re kissing, and Keith feels it in his body like a tremor all the way down to his toes.  Shiro’s other hand - the cybernetic one, Keith distantly thinks - touches his waist, the fingers curling around the curve of his body and sending a pulse of desire through Keith’s gut that leaves him absolutely breathless.

It’s his turn to pull away.  His lips feel raw; he can feel his heart beating faster than he thinks it’s ever beat in his life.  He breathes shakily, and his heart stutters when he feels Shiro’s hand cup his cheek.

Shiro leans his forehead against Keith’s.  “I missed you,” he says, and he almost sounds shy.

Keith tries to look at him from his very close vantage point.  “What?”

Shiro sits back, and clears his throat.  “When I was on the Kerberos mission, I - ”  He smiles ruefully.  “I missed you.”

“Did you just remember that?” Keith asks, bewildered.

Shiro blinks.  “I think I did.”

Keith’s hand unconsciously clenches into a fist.  Shiro is still so much what he had been before Kerberos, but it’s moments like this that make him want to take on the Galra empire more than anything, even if he has to do it on his own.  To think of what they did to Shiro, the awful things he still doesn’t remember… it fills Keith with an irrepressible rage.

A warm hand on his elbow brings his thoughts back to the present.  “Hey,” Shiro says.  “It’s gonna be okay.  We’ll defeat Galra and Zarkon.  Together.”

He pulls Keith into a hug.  Keith lets it happen, breathes in Shiro’s warm scent, and lets his sharp edges soften.

**

A while later, Lance walks up to Keith, his arms crossed and an all-knowing expression slathered across his face.  “I heard you and Shiro talked?” he says archly.

“Yeah,” Keith says, and he smiles despite himself.

“Okay… that’s weird,” Lance says, a little unnerved.  “You’re not telling me to shut up.”

“What?” Keith snaps.  “I’m happy.”

Lance smiles.  “ _There’s_ the grumpy kid we’ve all come to know and love.”  He claps a hand on Keith’s shoulder, and the smile turns conspiratorial.  “Now, be honest - did I make a great wingman, or what?”

Keith shoves him away.  “Don’t push your luck.  You still went behind my back and told him.” He starts walking down the corridor, away from Lance.

“You’ll thank me someday!” Lance shouts after him.  

Keith simply shoots his middle finger in his direction.


End file.
